Chapter One/ Fears.
One of our most basic emotions, and the one we fear most.
Fear is one of the most basic human emotions.
It is programmed into our parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems and has equipped us with the survival instincts necessary to respond when we sense danger or feel unsafe. Fear helps protect us. Fear is also one of the main propellers for our need to have or feel in control. Fear is also an emotion we try to avoid at all cause.
Control becomes the medicine or antidote (the ego) for the pain we feel when we feel fear.
These fears tend to be rooted in the future, a reality we believe we cannot cope with, a reality that has not even happened yet. A reality we wish to sway and persuade. A reality we need to see come alive to feel accomplished, fulfilled, or to stop feeling fearful. A reality that is highly influenced by our lived experiences, especially early ones.
Dr. Gabor Maté, a Canadian Physician and Author who has dedicated his career to trauma and healing, emphasizes the impact of early life experiences, particularly childhood trauma and adverse experiences, on an individual's psychological and physical well-being. He suggests that these early experiences can contribute to the development of various mental and physical health issues, which include fear-based responses. The first story in this chapter will take us back to my early life experiences. A place where trauma was stored into my nervous system and my emotional blueprint.
"The attempt to escape from pain, is what creates more pain."
— Gabor Maté
Connecting my experiences with my current fears (pain) to relinquish control has evolved into my guiding principle.
Over the past decade, I've dedicated myself to crafting a "blueprint for surrendering control," yet the journey persists. Delving into the origins of my unquenchable desire for absolute control and simultaneously guiding executives worldwide in the art of releasing control. With the goal of helping them [leaders] embody self-awareness and dedication to personal and professional growth. At the end of this chapter I will share my practice and my approach to letting go of control by connecting with your fears. Overcoming or becoming aware of how fear affects our process through life can be one of the most rewarding and insightful journeys to experience.
Traveling and living nomadically with my family for 3 years while working remotely and doing worldschooling also validated the benefits of coming face-to-face with my fears; learning to give control away to people and situations. I now firmly believe that I intentionally immersed myself in this realm of unpredictability and challenge to forge an intimate understanding of my fears within a constant flux of instability.
But my journey did not begin there. So let me take you back to the beginning, my beginning… (coming next week.)